Separation Anxiety / Tears

It is very normal, and perfectly okay, for children to have lots of big emotions in their little bodies.  As professional educators, we are used to supporting children through these feelings and we are always available for hugs and snuggles.  

Children handle separation in many ways. The key to your child's adjustment will be a cooperative effort between the parents and the staff. Children need time to adjust to their "new" routine. As a result of this, while your child is adjusting you may see tears and hear, "I want to go home." This is normal and is simply your child's way of handling a new routine, and with confidence, love, and support it will eventually pass.

During this adjustment period, the tears almost always stop within minutes of the parents’ departure. For the benefit of your child, please follow through on your departure after saying goodbye. We usually don’t recommend, “just one more hug”, as that can imply a lack of confidence/worry from parents.

When a parent says goodbye and does not leave, it creates a sense of fear in the child (i.e. “maybe Mommy's not leaving because something is wrong”). One of the most important things you can display is confidence in your child and in the school. Practice a “Goodbye Routine” ahead of time (e.g. “hug, high-five, & bye-bye”) and then do it, and walk away with as much confidence as you can muster! They’ll be fine, and we’ll take great care of them! If, however, a child cannot be calmed by a teacher, parents will be telephoned and requested to come to school to help their child feel better. If this happens, we strongly encourage parents NOT to take their child home as this can create habits that will be very difficult to break in the future (you may get phone calls every single day!).

We strongly encourage all parents to read our strategies for successful transitions, which can be found on our website: “Current Families  Parent Forms  Helpful Articles.”

The teachers are all here to help. If we notice your child is having difficulty saying goodbye, one of our teachers will usually come help by giving your kid a loving hug to allow you to release your child’s grip from you so you can walk away. We may take the child to a quieter room or outside for a few minutes both for their dignity and so the noise and emotion doesn’t impact other students. It’s often heart-wrenching for a parent to leave their child crying/screaming, and usually within one to three minutes the child will be calm. When this happens, we’ll give more hugs and love as needed, and then either get them involved in an activity or ask them to be our “special helper.”